pitchfork:

Continuing with their semi-fascinating quest to lose any and all credibility, Weezer play a full three-minute version of the State Farm Insurance jingle. Choice YouTube comment: “It’s annoying that this is better than their real music.”

Lead singer of Weezer and chief legacy-pooper-on Rivers Cuomo, would you care to respond?

Hells yeah I would care to respond cholo. I don’t get what all the fuss is about. This is a totally valid form of artistic expression. When I make a song about how awesome half-Japanese girls are everyone’s all “oh my god dark masterpiece of power pop 21st century Alex Chilton”, but sing a song about State Farm Insurance, who, by the way, like a good neighbor, is fucking there, suddenly everyone’s all up in my chupinga.

State Farm is the shit. This one time I accidentally ran over some prostitutes completely by accident, and I called Geico and was like “Yo, lizard-guy, help a brother out” and they were all “blahblahblah police report”. Total drag, I mean nobody even saw me run them over, it was in my living room. Have I mentioned how rich I am? I am so rich. I’m not even sure what insurance is for. It’s like… if you don’t have enough money to buy a new Range Rover when you crash it, they’ll buy you a new one? I wanted in on that shit. Then I called State Farm, and they sent me TWO new Range Rovers, and new prostitutes! All I had to do was sing a song about how awesome they are. Fucking. Deal.

Now all you nerds are being jerks about it? Whatever. Sorry I’m not white enough to be James Blake. Maybe our next record will be all dubstep mashups of 80’s power ballads about free-trade coffee, then maybe you’ll crawl out of my dickhole for a second. Dubstep. What the fuck is dubstep anyway? Is it like meringue or something? More like mering-GAY am I right. I’m hilarious.

Cuomo out.