In light of the recent controversy over popular rock-group Weezer’s latest act of urinating into the inexplicably still-open mouths of their mind-bogglingly ever-faithful fans record, many have been clamoring for an explanation. As your most-trusted source of Weezer-related lies, we felt obligated to act, and so we invited our old friend Rivers Cuomo* back to answer a few questions.

Thank you for sitting down with us. I think what everyone really wants to know, is whether you took money from the Hurley clothing company in exchange for naming your album Hurley?

No, absolutely not. Nyet. Nein. That’s just crazy talk guy. Crazy talk.

But your band is in a commercial relationship with Hurley? Money has changed hands at some point one must assume.

Look champ, it’s like this. Do you have any idea how many people give us money, like all the time? It’s ridiculous. Every time I walk in the door some douchebag starts throwing money at me like I’m the prettiest stripper in the Senate dining hall. Did Hurley give us some stupid-ass money? Probably! Maybe they just gave us 17 tons of Jolly Ranchers. It would explain where that came from. But the bottom line is this: We named the album Hurley because we all love that guy from Battlestar Galactica.

…Lost?

Fuck you chief, I know exactly where I am.

I see.  And the Hurley Rocks You Back To School With Weezer promotion was just a coincidence?

Maybe baby! Maybe we were doing that thing, and then we were all, hey, this company is called Hurley! Just like that from guy from that show… Alias! That guy was awesome, we should name our album after him, and not this company whose check we’re cashing right now, because we are youth, innovative, creative, inclusive, classic, and fresh!! To the X-TREEEEM!

Ah.  Finally, is there anything you can tell us about what you’re working on for the future?

For sure chief.  You know that guy who did that album of only Modest Mouse covers?  We’re going to do that too, only we might change the lyrics a little.  We’re going to call it ‘Good News For People Who Like Saving Money On Car Insurance By Switching To Geico’.  It’ll be… ironic, and also post-modern.  And before you ask, no, we’re not ‘in cahoots’ with Geico.  I’m just going to be replacing that lizard dude in their ads for a few weeks.  For like, almost no money at all.  For synergy.

Thank you for clearing that up.

Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing dagphizzle. Cuomo out.